


I'll Only Hurt You if You'll Let Me

by a_dale



Series: Your Soul is Bound to Mine [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canon Divergence - Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Harry Potter and Natasha Romanov are soulmates, Harry Potter just wants to get to know his soulmate, Harry is a Good Dad, Mild Angst, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Avengers (2012), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Teddy is 7, Teddy is Harry's adopted son, crack adjacent, implied that they'll be together post fic, pre-the rest of the MCU, probably a smidge ooc, she's got a lot of angst, sort of get together fic, soulmates thoughts on your skin, super condensed timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:57:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_dale/pseuds/a_dale
Summary: Natasha doesn't meet her soulmate first; she meets his son and falls in love.





	I'll Only Hurt You if You'll Let Me

She saw him moments before he collided with her. Saw him with enough time to side step if she wanted to, but instead, she let him fall into her, tiny body colliding with her knees. She knew she was much softer to land against than the concrete. And then he tilted his face up to look at her, tiny arms wrapping around her legs, and the bright green eyes filled with tears. Despite the image she projected of being cold and uncaring - the image everyone _believed_ \- her heart bled for this child, even thought she had no idea why he was so sad. Then he spoke, and her heart broke.

“Can’t find my Daddy.” She crouched down to his level, keeping a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“Okay, that’s okay.” she soothed, pushing the wild black hair back from his face and brushing the first tears from his cheeks with her thumbs. “I’ll help you. My name’s Natasha. What’s yours?”

“Teddy.” she wondered if it was short for Edward or Theodore. Then she wondered where the father was that he’d lost such a young child so easily. He couldn’t be more than 6 or 7 at most. She decided she would pause in her judgment until she’d at least seen the man. She offered Teddy a smile.

“It’s nice to meet you, Teddy.” and he mimicked her smile without even thinking, despite his sniffles. Her own smile softened, and she wondered how long it would take this time to piece together what remained of the bruised and battered organ in her chest when this child with his sad eyes and easy smiles walked away with his parents. She wondered what it said about her own psyche that she allowed every sad set of eyes to affect her so strongly. The image of Clint and his dog popped unbidden into her mind and she had to stop herself from snorting out a laugh. He’d probably been the first and he’d certainly had drawn out the protective instinct. Then she focused once more on the boy.

“Well, Teddy, let’s see if we can’t find your Dad.” she moved to stand and he immediately threw himself forward, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck. She stiffened for only a moment before she lifted him into her arms, holding him close. She allowed herself a single moment of weakness to press her nose into his hair before she eased him back to see his face. “Alright, where did you see him last?” Teddy’s face scrunched up in a frown, looking around in confusion.

“He was buying me ice cream.” Teddy said first. It was easy to see the boy obviously hadn’t had that ice cream yet as he was almost perfectly clean. “I saw a puppy.” and Natasha could only smile, because of course he had. Once again she couldn’t help but think of Clint and his own puppy. She ran through the layout of the park in her mind even as she started walking in the direction the boy had come from when he’d run into her. She knew of two ice cream stands.

“I like puppies.” she agreed easily, and he beamed at her.

“It was gold.” and she melted.

“I like gold.” was the amiable reply.

“Daddy gave me gold blankets. He said I couldn’t paint my room gold because it would get dirty, but blankets are easy to wash.” the boy recited, happy to sit in her arms and tell her all about his room and his apparent blanket collection. “He said when he went to school the colours were red and gold. But that my momma’s were yellow and black which is sort of like gold.” his tiny hands were toying with the ends of her hair but she couldn’t find it in herself to mind.

“One of my friends really likes red and gold.” was what she said instead. “But my best friend’s favourite colour is purple.”

“I _love_ purple!” the boy enthused. “Your friend sounds nice.” and Natasha almost envied how easy it must be to base someone’s character on their favourite colour.

“Daddy’s favourite colour is red. He likes red hair.” Natasha couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled in her chest. Was this boy trying to match make? “He likes green too. ‘Cause it matches our eyes.”

Natasha wondered if Clint would let her crash at his apartment for the next few days, because the idea of going back to her own rooms at the compound after this bright life burst into it momentarily left her aching. She knew without even really having to think about it that Clint would never turn her away - that she didn’t even really have to ask - but she also felt he deserved to know she needed comfort from him as much as he needed it from her.

Her forearm started to itch and she shifted a bit, glancing down at where the thoughts of her supposed soulmate flit across her forearm.

_Where is he?_ and the words were erasing and repeating themselves so quickly that the letters were almost vibrating with the other’s panic. She frowned, adjusting Teddy on her hip.

“My Daddy has words on his arm too.” Teddy informed her, and she turned her attention back to the boy. Words only appeared when both parties were of age, so he wasn’t surprised that Teddy’s father had a soul mark.

She’d had hers as soon as she’d turned of age so she could only assume her soulmate was her age or older.

“His words are funny though. Sometimes they’re in a different language. But that’s okay cause he said some of his are probably in a different language too.”

“What language does your Dad speak, Teddy?” she asked, even as she made her way towards the closest ice cream stand. Teddy opened his mouth to answer before he froze, head cocking to the side, listening. Natasha didn’t realize she’d mimicked the action until the shouting met her ears.

“Teddy! Teddy where are you?” The voice was panicked, and the name was for the boy in her arms. A boy who was all but vibrating.

“It’s my Daddy!” he wiggled to be put down but as soon as she obliged he grabbed her hand, dragging her after him.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” he was shouting back, “I’m here, Daddy! I’m here!” and then there was a man running towards them, with the exact same black hair and green eyes as the boy tugging on her hand. What struck her most, though, was how even as the man’s relief was immediately evident the moment he set his sights on his son, he’d already categorized her and everyone else in the vicinity. She knew very few people who did so subconsciously as this man obviously had.

“Teddy, thank Merlin.” and wasn’t that curious. Her thoughts went back to her arm, the only other place she’d heard the phrase before, but what surprised her more were the words scrawled there.

_He’ssafehe’ssafehe’ssafe_

She blinked at the words, turning her gaze back to the pair, and found her own caught by the man now holding Teddy tight in his arms. He approached her quickly, offering his hand to shake as soon as he was within reach.

“I wanted to thank you. I was just a wreck and unfortunately many would have just turned him away rather than helping him.” His smile was as bright as the relief in his eyes. She decided that she didn’t blame him for losing sight of this obviously extremely mobile little boy. It was obvious that he’d just taken him out to treat him, and in the split second he’d been distracted and disappeared. “Honestly, with this one I practically need a leash.” rather than be offended, Teddy let out a bright giggle, nuzzling against his father. She accepted the offered hand.

The electrical shock jolted through her and she froze, her fingers tightening convulsively around the man’s. Teddy actually shuddered in his father’s arms.

“What was _that_?” he pouted, and Harry offered him a small smile, even as his thumb swept across the back of her hand. She kept her expression blank even as her thoughts spiralled, but she didn’t pull her hand away.

“That, Teddy, was the residual energy of a soulmate connection.” the man explained easily, gaze finding Natasha’s. He offered her a tentative smile. She couldn’t help but wonder why he seemed so cautious. Not like he was afraid of her or anything, but like he didn’t want to pressure _her_. The fact that she’d been afraid of just that had her relaxing just a bit. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” he told her then, finally releasing her hand so he could get a firmer hold on a wiggling Teddy. “My name’s Harry.”

“That’s Natasha!” Teddy introduced for her, and Harry huffed out a laugh, nuzzling his nose against Teddy’s neck with earned a squealing laugh.

“Yes, thank you, Teddy. Don’t think you’re not in trouble for wandering off.” Harry warned, but everything about his expression said he was barely better than a pushover when it came to his son.

“But I found your soulmate! _And_ she has red hair!” Teddy exclaimed. Natasha couldn’t help but smile at the bright red flush that covered Harry’s entire face.

“Yes, thank you, Teddy.” and this time there was sarcasm in his tone though it obviously went right over the boy’s head. He just beamed back. Then Teddy turned his attention back to Natasha.

“My Daddy’s the best. Aunt ‘Mione said people only like him cause he’s famous but you didn’t even know he was famous cause you didn’t even know me.” it was surprisingly sound logic. The man, _Harry_ , only looked more flustered.

“ _Teddy,_ ” Harry began to scold, but Teddy just pouted.

“Aunt ‘Mione said you aren’t supposed to keep secrets from your soulmate cause they’ll always know if you’re a liar.”

“If you’re lying.” Harry corrected without hesitation. Then he sighed. “And you’re right.” his gaze cut to Natasha, almost an apology for his son. “But, we don’t know if Natasha is ready to meet her soulmate.”

Natasha knew her poker face was the best there was - knew that nobody, _nobody_ , could see through it. Yet this man was identifying her concerns without even a glance at his arm where she was sure they were racing across his skin.

Teddy just turned his pout on her.

“You don’t want my Daddy?” even as Harry opened his mouth to argue, Natasha finally interjected, taking a small step closer. After all, she didn’t need anyone overhearing this conversation.

“It’s not that, Teddy. It’s that, my life isn’t always the safest.” she hedged, and matching green eyes looked at her sharply.

“We can protect you.” was Teddy’s fierce promise. She couldn’t help her laugh and she reached out a tentative hand to brush the tips of her fingers against Teddy’s cheek. She knew it was forward of her to assume, but Harry looked rather pleased that she’d reached out.

“It’s not me that would need protection, маленький.” Confused, Teddy looked between her and his father. Harry’s smile was as tired as she felt in that moment. It hurt to know it was her putting that look on the face of the one person in the whole universe meant for her. As if sensing her thoughts, he met her gaze once more, smile turning wry.

“Don’t worry, it’s something we can discuss later.” and she blinked in surprise. He wasn’t put off by her words - at the obvious barrier she was putting up between them. The barrier she didn’t necessarily want but needed if the people tied to her could be safe. After all, if anyone knew she’d found her soulmate, but not only that, but that there was a _child_ \- she barely resisted a shudder. They would never be safe.

It took all her self control not to flinch when Harry’s hand set gently on her arm, giving a comforting squeeze.

“We’re going to be fine, alright? But we best head home. There’s been enough excitement for one day.”

“But Daddy, ice cream!” and she waited for him to scold his son for having run away, but instead he rolled his eyes.

“We’ll pick some up on the way home.” then he was digging into his pocket and offering her a business card. “I don’t have a cellphone.” he apologized. “But that’s the landline. There’s usually someone around the house to answer it.” she wondered just how many people he lived with. Wondered if it was like at the compound. Natasha nodded even as she examined the card. It was simple, with just his name _Harry Potter_ and phone number on it, and she recognized the number as a London area code.

“Long way from home.” she murmured, and Harry’s sudden grin was as bright as it was mischievous. It sent a pang of longing through her chest.

“We’re here for the week.” Then his grin softened to something kinder. “I imagine we’ll be at the park again in two days. After all, we never made it to the playground. Teddy mentioned you had a friend who’s favourite colour is also purple.” she realized Teddy must have mentioned it when his dad had first lifted him into his arms, when he’d been babbling nearly a mile a minute. She also understood just what Harry was offering - a buffer, and also backup. Someone to fall back on if she felt uncomfortable in any way.

When she smiled, it was genuine.

“He’s got a dog.” was what she said, despite the millions of reasons why this was a bad idea running through her head. Teddy’s face just about lit up at the words.

“ _A dog_.” he breathed, awed, and Harry simply beamed.

“We’ll be here in the morning.” and Natasha knew it was another offer. Meeting so early meant that if she wanted, they could extend the time they spent together. She wondered why he was being so accommodating to someone who, outwardly, showed so much caution. She looked at Teddy who was talking a mile a minute about everything he knew about dogs, and out of the corner of her eye saw Harry’s expression shift. Saw the longing on his face that reflected exactly how she felt. But when she looked back, there was just the kind smile. Now that she was looking for it though, she could still see it, lurking in his gaze. His smile turned wry and she realized she’d been caught. She returned the expression.

“We’ll see you there.” she promised, even as she knew she might not be able to keep it.

 

>>>

 

When she knocked on Clint’s door, he took one look at her before swinging the door open.

“That bad, huh?” he muttered, and she wondered when she’d become so easy to read. She just dropped onto his couch, curling up against what she knew was his favourite pillow. Clint immediately started bitching about how she’d stolen his spot but he just curled around her instead which of course prompted Lucky to want to get in on the pile and Clint cursed even as Natasha huffed out her amusement as the golden lab wiggled it’s way onto the couch with them.

“I met my soulmate today.” She felt the jolt as Clint’s entire went stiff beside her, then he was relaxing back into their forced cuddle session.

“Cool.” she rolled her eyes, but felt the tension she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying melted from her shoulders.

“He has a son.”

“It’s a he, is it?” was the suggestive response, and she looked over to see Clint wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously. She elbowed him. Hard. He grunted at the impact, face red as he caught his breath back, but he didn’t move away. “How old’s the kid?” she shrugged, because she honestly didn’t know.

“Young. Maybe first or second grade.” Clint hummed.

“You always wanted kids.” and yeah, she really had. “It would certainly make it easier than adopting. Especially with your high profile.” and that was also true. It was, in fact, the only reason she hadn’t seriously looked into the option. But she shook her head.

“It’s not that easy. You know that.” Clint just shrugged.

“Nat, do you really think that fate, or destiny, or whatever puts soulmates together, would match you with someone who couldn’t handle what you do? That would change you in any way?” he made a rude sound in the back of his throat. “You know it doesn’t work like that.” and yeah, she did. But that didn’t make it any easier to accept. She opened her mouth to argue - she had no idea what her argument was but she felt she couldn’t capitulate so easily. Clint cut in before she could even think so utter a word.

“He can only hurt you if you let him.” were Clint’s soft words, and she wondered if her smile was as ragged as she felt. She closed her eyes, leaning into the warmth he and his dog offered. Then she took a breath.

“They invited me to meet them at the park on Wednesday morning. They said I could bring a friend.” she opened her eyes to see Clint’s blue eyes crinkling with a smile. “I may have mentioned a dog.”

 

>>>

 

Natasha walked with her arm tucked in Clint’s and her hand a near vice on his arm. He’d given up trying to ease the grip and instead focused on chatting about the weather, the pedestrians, and the newest invention Stark was working on. Lucky trotted happily ahead of them, no leash necessary. The dog was probably the most well behaved pet Natasha had ever seen, despite the situation she knew he came from.

“Daddy! Look!” and that was Teddy’s voice. Her grip tightened and she relaxed it as soon as she felt Clint wince. There, up ahead in the playground, were Teddy and his father. Teddy’s eyes were focused on Lucky, but Harry’s had looked past to find her, and the moment he saw her there, he grinned. It nearly took her breath away.

Lucky was looking up at Clint, almost vibrating with his desire to run to the excited boy who obviously wanted to play, and the minute Clint nodded, the dog was off. Like a bullet, Lucky made a beeline for the boy, bounding two circles around him before he stopped in front of him to smother his face in slobbering kisses. The boy squealed in delight, throwing tiny arms around Lucky’s neck and kissing him right back.

It was Harry’s laughter that drew her attention back to him, watching as he stood, grin still in place as he wiped his hands on his jeans and made his way over.

“Now you’ve done it.” but the scolding words were clearly all for show. “Now he’ll be begging me to get a dog.” then he offered his hand to Clint. “Harry Potter, pleasure to meet you.” It was only because she still had a grip on his arm that Natasha felt his jolt of recognition. Clint had recognized the name, but other than the nearly minuscule jolt, his expression gave away nothing.

“Clint Barton, and hey, anytime you want a dog playdate, hit me up. I don’t get him out nearly enough.”

“Yes, well, I may just have to take you up on that.” Harry mused, and all three looked over to see Teddy and Lucky chasing each other back and forth, almost play wrestling anytime they caught each other before the chase renewed.

“Lucky won’t hurt him.” Clint blurted out, and Harry actually chuckled.

“Oh I know.” when they both looked at him in obvious surprise, Harry shrugged, though his surprisingly sharp gaze was keeping an eye on the playing pair. “Teddy’s got a way with animals.” was all he said, and both accepted the words. It certainly wasn’t the oddest thing they’d ever heard. Then Harry laughed, drawing their surprise again as he turned to look at them. “In fact, it looks like Lucky’s got the draw on him. Keeps herding him back this way and making it a game. He’s very smart.” Clint beamed at the compliment.

“Hell yeah, he is.” and when Natasha jabbed him, he flinched. “I mean. Heck. Heck yeah.” Harry chuckled again.

“Trust me, that’s not the worst he’s heard.” he looked rather embarrassed. “I was rather young when I took Teddy in.” that had Natasha’s full attention.

“He isn’t yours?”

“Of course he is.” was the immediate, almost sharp, reply. Then Harry winced, immediately apologetic. “Sorry. Habit.” he took a deep breath and then lead the way towards a bench, settling down where they could watch the pair playing without hovering awkwardly around the edge of the playground. “You meant biologically. In that respect, no. Teddy’s my godson. But his parents died only months after he was born. I adopted him.”

“How old were you?”

“I was 18 when the paperwork went through.”

The three adults sat quietly then, listening to Lucky’s happy barks and Teddy’s infectious laughter.

“He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” Harry said then, breaking the silence. When Natasha looked over, he was watching his son with bright eyes. “I was a bit lost at the time. Not really sure what to do with myself. I’d barely even finished school and suddenly I had a kid I’d never prepared for. But Teddy turned out to be the one bright spot. He gave me purpose.”

“He’s wonderful.” Natasha offered, and Harry turned his smile towards her.

“He is. I’d never expected to have kids. Not that I didn’t want them but I didn’t really think it would be in the cards.” there was something behind the words - a darkness Natasha didn’t understand but desperately wanted to. “And then I had him. Everything I wanted and wasn’t sure I’d get to have.” he laughed, almost embarrassed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to get so maudlin. I’m not used to people not knowing about him. Back home, we’ve got a very close knit family. People I’ve known almost my entire life. I’ve never really had to explain myself.” but there was no resentment in his tone. He obviously didn’t mind sharing.

“You haven’t asked me any questions.” was what Natasha said instead. Harry cocked a brow.

“You don’t really want me to ask questions.” she blinked and Clint laughed. She pinched his arm, hard. Clint didn’t even flinch this time.

“I’m impressed. You haven’t even had to check your mark once.” was what Clint said then, and Natasha realized it was true. In fact, Harry was wearing a long sleeve shirt and she’d never even seen a hint of his mark. Harry just tilted his head, curious.

“You know, it’s actually easier than you’d think to control what the words say.” Harry offered conversationally, but there was a smirk in his eyes. “They only show what you’re thinking the loudest.”

Natasha couldn’t help herself, she glanced down at her arm. The script she’d become accustomed to over the course of her life, settled into words.

_Harry:2 Clint:1_

She laughed and Harry grinned. Clint snickered.

“Where’d I get a point?”

“You brought Lucky.”

“Fair enough. Now, I think I’m going to go join the ankle biters. You two play nice.” and with that he levered off the bench and gave a whistle to get Lucky’s attention. Both dog and boy looked up sharply at the sound in interest.

“Subtle.” Harry mused, Natasha shook her head, but didn’t hide her smile.

“Clint couldn’t be subtle if his life depended on it.” in fact, she knew of many occasions where it had. They watched as Clint organized some sort of game that involved running, jumping, rolling, and climbing. Then she turned her focus back on Harry.

“I never expected to meet you.” she decided honesty was key.

“I can honestly say I thought the same.” Was the instant reply. “But I don’t mind that I have.” he was leaving it open for her.

“I don’t either.” but she was hesitant.

“I want to get to know you.” and this was the first time he’d really asked for anything, having otherwise allowed her to make all the decisions. When she met his gaze, she realized that there was steel there, a quiet strength she hadn’t known to look for. She wondered where it came from. “It doesn’t have to go anywhere beyond friendship, but you are my soulmate. That’s not exactly something I want to pass me by.”

“Me either.” and it was true. Despite everything else, she wanted this more than anything. Whatever this was.

“I also won’t lie and say I wouldn’t be interested in building more than just friendship.” she couldn’t help but smirk at the words, but didn’t deny them. “But that doesn’t mean I require or expect it.” his voice was firm, a promise that he wanted whatever they chose to build together, that he didn’t care what anybody else expected. It gave her a bit of a thrill. He wouldn’t take anything at face value - not even her.

She nodded slowly, heart in her throat. This was it, she realized. The moment where she could choose to either let him in or push him away. She knew that he’d accept either, no matter how he felt about it, because he would respect her wishes regardless. The ache she felt in her chest hurt, but it wasn’t the painful kind. It was almost desperate with want.

She understood now what Clint had meant now. That Harry could only hurt her if she opened up to him - that he _would_ hurt her. But that it didn’t mean it would break her. Hurting was part of being human.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to face him. He immediately mimicked her, giving his full attention. She offered her hand, and knew the smile on her face was probably silly, but his own was just as lopsided as he accepted the offered limb.

“Hi. My name’s Natasha Romanov. I’m your soulmate.”

“Hello, Natasha, my name’s Harry Potter, and I’m yours.” He stood then, transferring her hand into his other so he could link their fingers together. That mischievous glint was back in his eyes as he tugged her towards the others. As soon as he turned away, she glanced down at her arm, and the words there had her breath catching, her fingers tightening on his.

_As long as you’ll have me_.

She wondered if he felt the fierceness of her own thoughts, the possessiveness that flared through her; wondered if he could read her still even without checking his arm, because she was sure only one word would be scrawled across his arm in return;

_Forever._

**Author's Note:**

> Title is 100% from Billie Eilish's "When the Party's Over"
> 
> All mistakes were mine.
> 
> Comments are always welcome and appreciated <3


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